The Importance of Good Communication
The most common problem most couples is face poor communication and an avoidance of being honest. Many choose not to say what is bothering them, through a fear of conflict or a concern about upsetting their partner. However, pushing your feelings under the carpet means they begin to fester and resentment starts to build with problems becoming much worse longer term.
Taking responsibility for how you express your feelings, rather than attributing blame, paves the way for effective communication and happier relationships.
Take it in turns to listen
Half a conversation is listening…which means really listening, not just waiting for your turn to talk again. Let your partner speak and take on board what they say. This will encourage the same in return, resulting in constructive, respectful communication.
You said what?!
The way we say things can dramatically affect how they are received. Be conscious of this, particularly during a disagreement. A small misunderstanding can escalate to a full blown argument because of how something is said. Think about how something might be interpreted before you open your mouth.
Don’t get petty
If the conversation starts to go off track, avoid resorting to name calling or bringing up the past. Even if you feel your partner is baiting you. You can to rise above it and resist lashing out; they’ll soon get the message that you won’t be engaging with battle and you can carry on with a respectful conversation.
Learning to talk
Follow a few simple rules when you talk:
- Find a time when you are both calm and undistracted.
- Think about what you are trying to say before starting to talk so that you are concise and accurate.
- Be aware of the tone and volume of your voice. Stay calm
- Talk about how you feel. Phrases such as ‘I need’, ‘I want’ and ‘I feel’ are useful. They are much more likely to get a positive response that accusatory phrases such as ‘you never do this’ or ‘you always do that’
If you would like some professional help in how to communcate more effectively in your relationship. Contact us at Online Couples Counselling Today. Request an appointment