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# I Don&#8217;t Like Who I Have Become

November 13, 2023 2 min read 

### **I Don’t Like Who Have Become with You**

 A common complaint from individuals in relationships that aren’t working well, is that they experience a profound shift in their sense of self, which only exacerbates their troubles. In this altered state of identity, life loses its natural rhythm, leading to an overwhelming sense of wrongness and a compelling urge to remove themselves from the relationship

Should you find yourself in such a [situation within your relationship](https://onlinecouplescounselling.com/how-we-can-help/stuck-relationships), it is crucial to recognise the possibility of being driven towards life-altering decisions influenced by fear. To make a sound and secure decision, it is imperative to reconnect with your authentic self and then assess your relationship from this vantage point.

Individuals can often succumb to fear, making decisions that ultimately harm not only themselves but also their loved ones.

This shift in identity occurs when a relationship begins to fall in to difficulties. Individuals tends to grapple with the belief that their partner either lacks concern or care for them. Consequently, their focus shifts from love and enjoyment to self-preservation, a shift that profoundly impacts their emotions.

#### **Understanding Yourself**

Understanding this is pivotal: our feelings are shaped by our focus. In essence, we create our emotional responses based on where we direct our attention. For instance, someone who perceives their partner’s love as insufficient starts concentrating their energy on self-protection, gradually withdrawing affection. They repeat this pattern until it becomes second nature, eventually leading to [emotional detachment from their partner](https://onlinecouplescounselling.com/blog/blog-emotional-neglect-in-relationship-online-couples-counselling).

This underlines the importance of learning how to provide mutual support within a relationship. Regrettably, most couples lack awareness of how to achieve this delicate balance. They act according to their instincts, lacking the necessary knowledge for success.

If you recognise this pattern within yourself or observe it in your partner, [seeking professional help](https://onlinecouplescounselling.com/how-we-can-help) is vital. It’s essential to address these issues promptly, to salvage both your relationship and your well-being.

If you are thinking ‘I don’t like who I have become with you’ and would like to [book a session](https://onlinecouplescounselling.com/find-your-therapist) to talk things through with your partner, please contact us via this link to [Book Now](https://onlinecouplescounselling.com/book).

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