--- title: "It’s not about the nail….. | Online Couples Therapy" description: "Knowing how to relate to each other is key to a happy relationship! Our couple counsellors can help you do that. Learn more." lang: en-GB json-ld: | [ { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@type": [ "Organization", "ProfessionalService" ], "@id": "https://onlinecouplescounselling.com/#organization", "name": "Online Couples Counselling", "alternateName": "OCC", "url": "https://onlinecouplescounselling.com", "logo": "https://onlinecouplescounselling.com/logo-colour.png", "image": "https://onlinecouplescounselling.com/og-image.jpg", "description": "UK online couples therapy with qualified, professionally registered relationship therapists. 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Our couple counsellors can help you do that. 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October 26, 2015 2 min read ## It’s not about the nail… A common reason that couples seek [relationship counselling](https://onlinecouplescounselling.com/blog/blog-online-couple-therapy) is because they have lost the ability to relate to each other effectively. When communication starts to break down in a relationship, resentment can begin to grow. More often than not, it’s not about _what_ we say to our partner but _how_ we say it. Taking responsibility for the tone of your voice is of upmost importance. Learning to read between the lines during discussions with our partner can also be helpful. Sometimes, it is more important think about what isn’t being said as opposed to what is. Although this can be tricky! This may well be a stereotypical generalisation. However in our experience of [couple counselling](https://onlinecouplescounselling.com/blog/attachment-style-couple-therapy). We find that men tend to deal more in fact and what is _actually_ being said, whilst women tend to relate more in feeling. Men frequently say “_why don’t you just tell me what the problem is_?” Whilst in contrast a women might reply “_well you should know_!” [Find a qualified therapist and book your first session](https://onlinecouplescounselling.com/find-your-therapist) whenever you feel ready. This below video clip is well worth a watch.  It’s  humourous, somewhat tongue in cheek and a little stereotypical perhaps. However, in our experience, it’s also very accurate. It’s not about who is right or wrong in a relationship. It’s about accepting the differences between you and learning to relate to each other in the most effective way. Our couple counsellors suggest; if couples are able to get their heads around this fundamental difference between how (a vast majority) of men and women think and relate. Then it would go a long way in making a [long term, happy, harmonious relationship](https://onlinecouplescounselling.com/blog/how-to-keep-the-spark-alive-in-a-long-term-relationship)**. [It’s not about the nail.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg)** ## Professional relationship help If you would like to make an appointment to come and see one of our [relationship therapists](https://onlinecouplescounselling.com/therapists) to learn more about to relate more effectively. The contact us a Online Couples Counselling Today. **Request an appointment** Ready to talk about it’s not about the nail…..? Browse qualified, vetted therapists, see real-time availability, and book your first session in minutes — online or in-person. [Find your therapist →](https://onlinecouplescounselling.com/find-your-therapist) No waiting lists · BACP & UKCP registered therapists · Confidential ### Ready to strengthen your relationship? Book a session with one of our qualified couples counsellors today. 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