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# What is Gaslighting in Relationships

September 6, 2023 3 min read 

What Is

## Gaslighting in a Relationship?

#### Introduction

This is a guide on a topic that is often misunderstood but crucial to understanding the dynamics of unhealthy relationships – [gaslighting](https://onlinecouplescounselling.com/blog/gaslighting-in-relationships). My name is Sian Jones and I am a professional relationship therapist. My aim is to shed light on this subtle yet destructive behaviour. So you are able to recognise it, protect yourself and nurture healthier relationshiops.

#### What is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation tactic that can occur in any type of [relationship](https://onlinecouplescounselling.com/blog/blog-online-couple-therapy), from romantic partnerships to friendships and even between family members. The term comes from a 1944 film, called “Gaslight” which involves one person systematically undermining the other’s perception of reality to gain control and maintain dominance in the relationship.

#### **Recognising Gaslighting**

-   **Denying Reality:** Gaslighters frequently deny something they’ve said or done, even when presented with evidence. They make you doubt your memory, causing confusion and self-doubt.
-   **Trivialising Feelings:** They might belittle your emotions, making you feel like your feelings are exaggerated or irrational, further eroding your self-esteem.
-   **Shifting Blame:** Gaslighters are adept at shifting blame for their actions onto you, as a result leading you to feel responsible and to blame for what they did.
-   **Withholding Information:** Furthermore, gaslighters may withhold information or conveniently forget conversations to keep you in the dark, making you feel isolated and powerless.
-   **Projecting:** Gaslighters project their own negative traits onto you, making you believe that you’re the one with the problem.

#### The Impact of Gaslighting

Gaslighting can have severe emotional and psychological consequences, including:

-   Low Self-Esteem: Constant manipulation can lead to a diminished sense of self-worth.
-   Anxiety and Depression: Gaslighting can contribute to anxiety, depression and other mental health issues.
-   Isolation: Victims may withdraw from friends and family due to confusion and fear.
-   Dependency: The gaslighter may intentionally create dependency on them for emotional stability.
-   Loss of Self: You may lose touch with your own thoughts, feelings and identity.

#### Dealing with Gaslighting

-   **Trust Your Instincts:** If something doesn’t feel right in your relationship then trust your gut. Seek support from a trusted friend or therapist.
-   **Set Boundaries:** Try and establish clear boundaries in your relationship and communicate them assertively.
-   **Seek Professional Help:** If gaslighting persists, consider [couples therapy](https://onlinecouplescounselling.com/blog/is-couples-counselling-a-good-idea) or individual counselling.
-   **Build a Support System:** Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who can help you stay grounded.
-   **Self-Care:** Prioritise self-care to maintain your emotional well-being.

Gaslighting in a relationship is a destructive behaviour that can erode your self-esteem and mental health. Recognising it is the first step toward protecting yourself and fostering healthier relationships. [Find a qualified therapist and book your first session](https://onlinecouplescounselling.com/find-your-therapist) whenever you feel ready.

If you or someone you know is experiencing gaslighting, don’t hesitate to seek help from a qualified therapist. Remember, your reality is valid, and you deserve healthy, respectful [relationships](https://onlinecouplescounselling.com/how-we-can-help).

If you would like some help for gaslighting in your relationship – Click Here

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