The question “how does relationship counselling work?” is something we are frequently asked. Below is a step by step guide as to what to expect.
Our experienced Relationship Therapists have enabled hundreds of couples to successfully achieve their goals. However, we never lose site of the fact that taking the decision to seek help for your relationship, might be quite difficult. This can be all the more challenging if one of you is resistant to going to marriage counselling.
However, please rest assured, couples counselling is extremely powerful and not as daunting as your first might think. Our relationship counsellors are not there to play judge and jury because it’s not about who is right or wrong. Instead it’s about open discussion in order to try understand each others perspectives. Ultimately, it’s about helping you both achieve the outcome you want.
We regularly receive feedback that our couple counsellors have an exceptional ability to help all their clients feel quickly at ease. This is important, because we understand, when couples feel comfortable they find it easier to open-up and communicate. This also helps your therapist quickly understand the particular issues you are facing – from each individual perspective.
Our Relationship counsellors certainly won’t sit there silently waiting for you to speak. They will however, take an active part in the conversation and in the process of recovery and change.
You will be in a safe, confidential non-judgemental situation where:-
You will both be asked what you would like to get out of the couples counselling sessions. Whether you would like to try and stay together, or perhaps want help in ending the relationship amicably. (it’s still important to go through the below process in order to be able do that).
Or maybe, one or both of you are unsure about what you want at this stage. Perhaps you would prefer to see how you feel after the couples counselling. This is not a problem and is very common. We will work towards what you both want, even you are unsure.
You will be both be given an equal opportunity to express what you feel the current issues are in the relationship and when you think they began. At this point your relationship counsellors will more than likely ask you for some examples of a situation of when a certain type of behaviour hurt/upset or angered you. This allows more context to what you are trying to explain to your partner
As the couples therapy progresses, the aim is to encourage your partner to hear what you are saying and vice versa. That way you will both begin to see the bigger picture of what is going on between you.
You will be both be given help to really listen and try and understand each others points of view. Importantly, having a third party perspective here can be really useful because sometimes it’s hard to see things clearly when emotions are involved.
Both of you will find out what is really important to you and learn how to manage your emotions. You will also be given the opportunity to find out how you can set limits/expectations over what behaviour you will and won’t accept from each other.
You will learn about each others differences and needs and agree on compromises going forward.
It will be an opportunity for you both to gain new insight into yourself and your partner. And most importantly learn how to bring back intimacy and loving feelings if that is what you would like to achieve.
When the sessions come to an end you will be given help and advice on how to keep the relationship on track if that’s the route you choose to take. You will always have the added reassurance of following up with a maintenance session at any time you choose.
Even after the first relationship counselling session most couples report to feeling a huge sense of relief that something is finally being done to bring about change in their relationship.
Successfully enabled hundreds of couples to relate more effectively and achieve their goals
Skilled in helping couples open up and communicate effectively
97% of customers rebook after their first session.
Professionally trained and fully qualified relationship therapists
BACP - British Association of Counselling & Psychotherapy therapists
NCS - National Counselling Society
We will help you understand what is going on in your relationship, no matter what has happened or what is going on.
Feel relaxed in the comfort of your own home or office
Convenient & flexible appointments to suit you.
Accessible and Convenient
Zoom or Skype counselling
Available wherever you may be at a time to suit you
Appointments avaialable 7 days a week
We had never used counselling of any kind in the past so we found the whole process of finding someone we can speak with quite challenging. We ideally wanted to meet with someone face to face but soon realised that everyone was busy, so searched for an on-line appointment.
Ours was a private relationship matter, we had no one to talk to but each other so when we met Kay we were hoping for a good listener, independent advice, someone with experience who appreciated what we were going through.
Kay was exactly what we needed, she listened to both of us, sometimes each in turn and sometimes to both of us together as we opened up about our individual journeys. She is very experienced, so settled our nerves that what we were experiencing was normal each of us at different stages and with different issues to resolve.
After weekly on-line calls over a period of three months, Kay helped us get to the bottom of our issues and guided us to think about what we were doing, improve communication and better listening. We took on board the feedback and gradually we started working together on the same side as opposed to working against each other.
We would highly recommend Kay as a Couples Therapist and if we do falter, we would instantly go back to Kay for more help.
I have recently been helped by Kaye Barney and through my sessions I can honestly say I have felt improvement. She helped create a open and friendly platform in which we could discuss the relevant topics that helped ease my overall stress and anxiety. I would recommend Kaye very highly and I would not hesitate to book further sessions if I felt the need. I would also recommend the online sessions and found them far less stressful that adding extra travel to my day.
Dear Denese, we really have learned a lot about our relationship through our sessions with you . After 40 years we were happy but taking each other for granted . The bigger issues were not a problem , but the smaller irritations were magnifying for a very long time .
You helped us understand that small changes can make a very big difference , and to simply let things go ! Your counselling is insightful , calm and patient Talking things through with you as an impartial counsellor who did not criticise us has been very beneficial .
Thanks so much Denese .
Mr and Mrs Bowditch
If you are looking for a great counsellor then Kay is the person you need to see. Without her me and my partner would not have been able to make the steps we have. Her support and guidance is greatly appreciated and we thank her for everything.
Lucy and Tom
For Julie and I, counselling was an opportunity for change. We knew we were stuck and needed the time, the tools, the space, the bravery and impetus to begin the process of change.
Tim gave us what we needed and at a pace we could manage. Tim joined with us in our exploration so the Julie-and- I duo became a trio with Tim; working together to resolve our issues.
After each session we felt empowered to take away what we had discussed so that we may consider this in greater depth in our own time.
He was never the passive wall or mirror (which would have irritated and blocked our learning) but an active participant in our striving to move forward .
Clive and Julie
Clive and Julie
"Hi Sian, we just wanted to thank you from the bottom of our hearts! Things have never been so good for us!"As you know, when we booked to see you we were on the verge of splitting up and Brian didn't want to have counselling because neither of us could see a way forward. And as much as the sessions were really difficult to start (in the nicest possible way!!) You were so kind and understanding whilst at the same time encouraging us to both be really honest. You were very honest with us both also by pointing out what we needed to take responsibility for individually if we wanted things to get better""We both feel it's a bit scary not having our weekly sessions with you but hopefully we will be OK now but we know where you are! Thanks again xBrian and Sophie
Brian & Sophie
"We’ve turned some pretty big corners in this household, I’m feeling very grateful indeed. Thank you for always being there and holding space, it’s facilitated so much healing for me and my family"
J and JC
"When we found Elaine our relationship was in crisis. We had sessions with her jointly and individually. Both myself and my partner found Elaine to be helpful and non-judgemental in appraising our situation. She was very easy to talk to and posed thoughtful questions that enabled us to appreciate our present situation which enabled us to find a way forward"
"We found it a comfort to have someone with Elaine’s experience to help during this difficult time. We would have no hesitation in contacting her in the future if we need to and would happily recommend her to others"
K & K
"We really lucked out when we got Madeleine as our counsellor"
MS & CS
"Our sessions with you have been a lifesaver and completely invaluable and I think moving forward we are both so much better equipped to deal with whatever comes next. But we also won’t be afraid to ask for help if and when we may need it."
H & RT
"Just to say Thank you for your help, it has been invaluable and it was wonderful confiding in someone so warm and non-judgemental. The sessions were priceless in how they improved our communication and overall relationship. The tools we've learnt will be invaluable taking froward"
H & S
"The weekly sessions with Tim have been invaluable. His intuition, sensitivity and empathy have made the process enlightening and very manageable at a point where our marriage was in crisis.
Thank you, Tim, - you have saved my relationship"
"Thank you so much for everything you have done to help the situation with our marriage. We have learnt a lot but still have a way to go but you have helped more than we can of expected"
J & P
"Madeleine was wonderful, she saved my life and helped me come back to life through her kindness, compassion, encouragement and unfailing support. She is a genuinely lovely person and just brilliant at her job. I honestly can't thank her enough for helping me re-build the shattered parts of myself, i'm in such a strong position now to deal with whatever life is throwing at me and i'm really really grateful
"From the very first contact (virtual) Jo was very warm and welcoming. She made both of us feel at ease.Jo discussed our personal experiences in a kind and considerate manner, allowing both of us to speak, without feeling rushed. The sessions we had were all amazing and she helped us move forward with our relationship.I’m happy for my name to be attached to my review"
"Hello my name is Brian, I don't know your name but if your reading this I do at least know a little about you. I needed help and you presumably feel that you do as well.It's very difficult to ask for help, especially from a total stranger. We all think we can deal with whatever life throws at us, unfortunately some of us find we can't. I waited some considerable time before I plucked up the courage to contact Sian, don't you do that, grab the moment and you won't regret it!My first appointment I nearly cancelled. I am so glad I didn't because I couldn't wait for the next one. Sian is open, friendly, engaging, non judgemental and very good at what she does.After six sessions I feel that with Sian's understanding and the tools she has given me to look at situations in life that we all experience I am more able to deal with them and move on.I can say in all honesty that I will miss our Zoom meetings!I do know who to contact if I feel in need of a confidential chatSian, thank you for all your help"Brian
"I wanted to give some feedback on myself and my partner's sessions with Kiran.
She has been very understanding and supportive as well as non judgemental and definitely helped us process the things we have been going through recently. She has given me the confidence to believe I am doing the right thing.
I'm really glad we had the counselling. It has definitely been of help. Thank you"
"My wife and I decided to seek online marriage counselling with Sian after having experienced a few communication challenges whilst in lockdown. We have been married just under 2 years and really wanted to nip these issues in the bud""The counselling was a real revelation. The whole experience was enlightening and we both found it to be very useful. Sian had a really experienced and specialised way in helping us to approach and deal with our challenges well. It certainly wasn't about blame or who was right or wrong, but it helped us understand how the other was feeling and how they processed thoughts""We had just 4 or 5 sessions and are now looking forward to a long, happy and fulfilled marriage with much-improved communication skills. Thank you "
"Jo took the time to understand us as individuals and our respective ways of thinking rather than jumping straight into our problems as a couple. She helped us to navigate through our issues gently and at our own pace using tools and resources between sessions to get us thinking and talking to each other about them"
"We finished every session with a reminder that we love each other, had a strong foundation and were there to improve things in our relationship. We’ve come out of our sessions with Jo with a better understanding of how we each perceive our problematic interactions and practical ways to deal with them. This came at a particularly crucial time when our marriage was strained and we had another child on the way"
"Although my wife was not comfortable discussing our marital problems with a counsellor herself, Jo really helped me understand how to approach the issues, and gave us a good foundation/plan to build upon.
They say the first step is to talk about the problems, and talking with Jo really helped!. Was the first time (aged 48) I have had any kind of counselling, which filled me with fear, but within a couple of minutes of the Zoom meeting Jo put my mind at rest."
"Online Relationship counselling with Debbie was a positive experience for both of us. The initial questionnaire was a good way to get us to think deeply and try to identify issues we had and wanted to address"
"Debbie seemed to understand where each of us was coming from and tried to get us to see the other person's point of view"
Mr & Mrs Hakki
"We felt having a space to talk in that was safe and supportive was really helpful. The sessions were very well managed and structured by Debbie Fletcher and there was an understanding and empathy with our situation which felt comforting. We were each allowed a decent time to talk and reflect"
"Thank you Debbie – you were very kind and understanding and we really appreciated the lack of judgement and desire to help us with your reflections and ideas"
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"We booked with Sian for some marriage counselling online and found that she has an amazing ability to explain back to you EXACTLY how you are feeling, both me and my husband just couldn't believe it! It was like she had experienced every single feeling we had at some point so she could really relate to it. At no point did she judge either of us such she just helped understand each other's perspectives and got us actually communicating properly again! Thank you!
"The Irish" (ha ha ha!) cannot thank you enough for all you have done for us Tara. It's been a steep hill but we finally got there, we will never forget what you have done for us and all being well we won't be booking again!! :))"
Rosalyn and Patrick
"We procrastinated about having relationship counselling for around 2 years. I made 3 appointments then cancelled them trying to pretend the problems were manageable and we didn't need help. Things finally came to a head and we had no choice; either go for help or split up. My husband didn't want to so it felt like I was dragging him along but plucking up the courage was the best thing we ever did and we wish we had done it five years ago. After only 2 appointments with Sabine it started to get better and then continued to grow each session after that. With our new communication skills and understanding of each other I feel like we are back in love again! I would tell anyone not to be scared or embarrassed and it is worth every penny"
"It's been good and it's been bad..................... but knowing what we know now .... we should have done it years ago! Thank you thank you thank you!"
Elsa and Mark – one very happy couple!
"We found Sian to be such a huge help in our quest for improving our communication skills. Sian will teach you how to think about your behaviour and what it's linked to so you learn to understand yourself and your partner a whole lot better. This is an invaluable technique,. She is also warm & fun which really helps!:)"
"We now communicate better and understand one another….invaluable & life changing.’ Many thanks again"
Scott and Sue – Thank you!
"Really appreciate the help and support provided via the counselling service you have provided. It has really helped our relationship and has helped me understand how to better communicate and make my feelings known.
This intervention has helped save and mend our relationship and ultimately our marriage so thank you again"
Sian Jones "Sian Jones is Highly recommend!! I contacted Online Couples Counselling for an appoinment with Sian because I was concerned that my reaction to the small irritating things my partner was doing was getting out of hand. I was anxious, angry and upset on a regular basis. I tried to blame him for a while but I started to realise it was me and not him.
I saw Sian for a few months, once a week, and began to understand why I was reacting the way I was. This understanding was half the battle, and was incredibly revealing. I learned not to let my hurt feelings turn to anger and frustration, and deal with them in a different way. I feel like my old self again now, I'm more in control of my emotions, and much happier in my relationship. Sian was sympathetic, caring, open and I felt genuinely happy for me when I started to feel better”
Mrs T Albany
"As you know Elaine I have tried very hard to get over my wife's affair. Unfortunately I haven't been unable to forgive and forget and now know I never will. Although the whole experience has hurt like hell, I couldn't have done it without you. You helped me through it by giving me time, patience and a different perspective. I know more about myself and relationships than I ever did before and I'm hoping one day I will see some good in what's happened. Hopefully this will help me in my next relationship"
Steve M – Brilliant Service
"Having June help us talk through our problems online helped us both see each others point of view and see things more clearly. Our marriage is much stronger now that it has been for years – thank you so much"
Byron & Claire
"We knew we needed to separate but wanted to do so amicably for the sake of our two children. Sabine made this possible by offering us the support through a very difficult time"
"We were really skeptical about online couples counselling as you know! But it was great and so convenient. Thank you so much Sian for putting our marriage back on track!"
Mr & Mrs Donahue
"When my wife suggested that we should see a relationship counsellor but I thought it was very sceptical and cynical. But Sian Jones made us both feel very relaxed from the outset and she never took sides in any of our conversations. Sian helped us through the sometimes difficult process. I would recommend her to anyone who is having problems"
Adesian & B Adedayo
"Although my partner was reluctant to do online therapy Gaye put us both at ease straight away. I was surprised how he opened up and I was able to see things from his perspective for the first time. I know that he understands me more now and with Gayes help we are closer than ever"
Hayley and John
"I didn’t think there was any hope for our relationship as all we did was argue and shout at each other. We booked to see Sian because she started online couples counselling so we thought she must be good.. She was so patient and understanding and always saw things from both points of view. We are now at a stage where we can at least communicate without getting angry. We are still working on our relationship but now feel at least there is light at the end of the tunnel"
Paul & Sue B
We are an experienced team of professional relationship counsellors located throughout the UK. Online Couples Counselling will help you gain understanding of your partner’s perspective. This will enable you both to move forward in the direction you choose. We provide online counselling sessions so you can get help & support from the convenience & comfort of your own home.