Our couple counsellors find time and time again, that poor communication is at the root of most relationship problems. Sometimes couples find themselves unable to communicate and become stuck in a state of arguing and unhappiness so struggle to resolve the issues between them. As a result one or both parties give up the will to make the relationship work.
More problems are caused in relationships when things go unsaid, than when they are said; as long as they are said in the right way. One of the most common reasons couples become ‘stuck’ in a vicious cycle of arguing is often because of a lack of honesty. Honesty is not the same as lying, it’s about not telling the truth. Not telling the truth about how you really feel and what you need. Likewise, telling the truth about what is bothering you about your partner’s behaviour. A result of this act of honesty can lead to resentment building on one or both sides.
A feeling of not being listened to.
Feeling unappreciated or taken for granted.
An angry or aggressive partner.
A partner who sulks or a lack sex and intimacy.
Different values around children and money or who spending too little time together.
People often avoid being honest with their partner through a fear of conflict or a belief they won’t be listened to. Resulting in problems getting pushed under the carpet, by one of both parties. This can go on for many years. Being honest is about taking responsibility for how you feel and why. It’s about talking to your partner calmly and openly. Above all, it’s not about attributing blame or getting angry. It’s important to remember, as human beings we only tend to really listen when we don’t feel attacked or criticised.
Our online couple counsellors will help you find an effective way of communicating with each other. Together, you will explore what’s not working, from your perspective. Above all, you will both have the opportunity to talk and to be heard. Effective communication is the vital ingredient for a successful relationship.
If you are in a stuck relationship. Perhaps it’s time to pull up the carpet and get everything out on the table. Consequently, your relationship can move forward in a much more positively way with a new understanding. If you would like some professional help contact us at Online Couples Counselling today. Request an appointment
Kay Doherty We had never used counselling of any kind in the past so we found the whole process of finding someone we can speak with quite challenging. We ideally wanted to meet with someone face to face but soon realised that everyone was busy, so searched for an on-line appointment. Ours was a private relationship matter, we had no one to talk to but each other so when we met Kay we were hoping for a good listener, independent advice, someone with experience who appreciated what we were going through. Kay was exactly what we needed, she listened to both of us, sometimes each in turn and sometimes to both of us together as we opened up about our individual journeys. She is very experienced, so settled our nerves that what we were experiencing was normal each of us at different stages and with different issues to resolve. After weekly on-line calls over a period of three months, Kay helped us get to the bottom of our issues and guided us to think about what we were doing, improve communication and better listening. We took on board the feedback and gradually we started working together on the same side as opposed to working against each other. We would highly recommend Kay as a Couples Therapist and if we do falter, we would instantly go back to Kay for more help.
Kaye Barney I have recently been helped by Kaye Barney and through my sessions I can honestly say I have felt improvement. She helped create a open and friendly platform in which we could discuss the relevant topics that helped ease my overall stress and anxiety. I would recommend Kaye very highly and I would not hesitate to book further sessions if I felt the need. I would also recommend the online sessions and found them far less stressful that adding extra travel to my day.
Denese MacDonald Dear Denese, we really have learned a lot about our relationship through our sessions with you . After 40 years we were happy but taking each other for granted . The bigger issues were not a problem , but the smaller irritations were magnifying for a very long time . You helped us understand that small changes can make a very big difference , and to simply let things go ! Your counselling is insightful , calm and patient Talking things through with you as an impartial counsellor who did not criticise us has been very beneficial . Thanks so much Denese .
Kay Doherty If you are looking for a great counsellor then Kay is the person you need to see. Without her me and my partner would not have been able to make the steps we have. Her support and guidance is greatly appreciated and we thank her for everything. Many thanks
For Julie and I, counselling was an opportunity for change. We knew we were stuck and needed the time, the tools, the space, the bravery and impetus to begin the process of change.
Tim gave us what we needed and at a pace we could manage. Tim joined with us in our exploration so the Julie-and- I duo became a trio with Tim; working together to resolve our issues.
After each session we felt empowered to take away what we had discussed so that we may consider this in greater depth in our own time.
He was never the passive wall or mirror (which would have irritated and blocked our learning) but an active participant in our striving to move forward .
Clive and Julie
Sian Jones "My wife and I decided to seek online marriage counselling with Sian after having experienced a few communication challenges whilst in lockdown. We have been married just under 2 years and really wanted to nip these issues in the bud" "The counselling was a real revelation. The whole experience was enlightening and we both found it to be very useful. Sian had a really experienced and specialised way in helping us to approach and deal with our challenges well. It certainly wasn't about blame or who was right or wrong, but it helped us understand how the other was feeling and how they processed thoughts" "We had just 4 or 5 sessions and are now looking forward to a long, happy and fulfilled marriage with much-improved communication skills. Thank you "
Jo Walmsley-Moore "Jo took the time to understand us as individuals and our respective ways of thinking rather than jumping straight into our problems as a couple. She helped us to navigate through our issues gently and at our own pace using tools and resources between sessions to get us thinking and talking to each other about them" "We finished every session with a reminder that we love each other, had a strong foundation and were there to improve things in our relationship. We’ve come out of our sessions with Jo with a better understanding of how we each perceive our problematic interactions and practical ways to deal with them. This came at a particularly crucial time when our marriage was strained and we had another child on the way"
Jo Walmsley-Moore "Although my wife was not comfortable discussing our marital problems with a counsellor herself, Jo really helped me understand how to approach the issues, and gave us a good foundation/plan to build upon. They say the first step is to talk about the problems, and talking with Jo really helped!. Was the first time (aged 48) I have had any kind of counselling, which filled me with fear, but within a couple of minutes of the Zoom meeting Jo put my mind at rest." Anon
Debbie Fletcher "Online Relationship counselling with Debbie was a positive experience for both of us. The initial questionnaire was a good way to get us to think deeply and try to identify issues we had and wanted to address" "Debbie seemed to understand where each of us was coming from and tried to get us to see the other person's point of view"
Debbie Fletcher "We felt having a space to talk in that was safe and supportive was really helpful. The sessions were very well managed and structured by Debbie Fletcher and there was an understanding and empathy with our situation which felt comforting. We were each allowed a decent time to talk and reflect" "Thank you Debbie – you were very kind and understanding and we really appreciated the lack of judgement and desire to help us with your reflections and ideas" Request an appointment
Sian Jones "We booked with Sian for some marriage counselling online and found that she has an amazing ability to explain back to you EXACTLY how you are feeling, both me and my husband just couldn't believe it! It was like she had experienced every single feeling we had at some point so she could really relate to it. At no point did she judge either of us such she just helped understand each other's perspectives and got us actually communicating properly again! Thank you!
Tara Cratchley "The Irish" (ha ha ha!) cannot thank you enough for all you have done for us Tara. It's been a steep hill but we finally got there, we will never forget what you have done for us and all being well we won't be booking again!! :))"
Sabine Hawkins "We procrastinated about having relationship counselling for around 2 years. I made 3 appointments then cancelled them trying to pretend the problems were manageable and we didn't need help. Things finally came to a head and we had no choice; either go for help or split up. My husband didn't want to so it felt like I was dragging him along but plucking up the courage was the best thing we ever did and we wish we had done it five years ago. After only 2 appointments with Sabine it started to get better and then continued to grow each session after that. With our new communication skills and understanding of each other I feel like we are back in love again! I would tell anyone not to be scared or embarrassed and it is worth every penny"
Allie Markantonis "It's been good and it's been bad..................... but knowing what we know now .... we should have done it years ago! Thank you thank you thank you!"
Sian Jones "We found Sian to be such a huge help in our quest for improving our communication skills. Sian will teach you how to think about your behaviour and what it's linked to so you learn to understand yourself and your partner a whole lot better. This is an invaluable technique,. She is also warm & fun which really helps!:)" "We now communicate better and understand one another….invaluable & life changing.’ Many thanks again"
Sian Jones "Sian Jones is Highly recommend!! I contacted Online Couples Counselling for an appoinment with Sian because I was concerned that my reaction to the small irritating things my partner was doing was getting out of hand. I was anxious, angry and upset on a regular basis. I tried to blame him for a while but I started to realise it was me and not him. I saw Sian for a few months, once a week, and began to understand why I was reacting the way I was. This understanding was half the battle, and was incredibly revealing. I learned not to let my hurt feelings turn to anger and frustration, and deal with them in a different way. I feel like my old self again now, I'm more in control of my emotions, and much happier in my relationship. Sian was sympathetic, caring, open and I felt genuinely happy for me when I started to feel better”
Elaine Brown "As you know Elaine I have tried very hard to get over my wife's affair. Unfortunately I haven't been unable to forgive and forget and now know I never will. Although the whole experience has hurt like hell, I couldn't have done it without you. You helped me through it by giving me time, patience and a different perspective. I know more about myself and relationships than I ever did before and I'm hoping one day I will see some good in what's happened. Hopefully this will help me in my next relationship"
June Brogan "Having June help us talk through our problems online helped us both see each others point of view and see things more clearly. Our marriage is much stronger now that it has been for years – thank you so much"
Sabine Hawkins "We knew we needed to separate but wanted to do so amicably for the sake of our two children. Sabine made this possible by offering us the support through a very difficult time"
Sian Jones "We were really skeptical about online couples counselling as you know! But it was great and so convenient. Thank you so much Sian for putting our marriage back on track!"
Sian Jones "When my wife suggested that we should see a relationship counsellor but I thought it was very sceptical and cynical. But Sian Jones made us both feel very relaxed from the outset and she never took sides in any of our conversations. Sian helped us through the sometimes difficult process. I would recommend her to anyone who is having problems"
Gaye Mitchell "Although my partner was reluctant to do online therapy Gaye put us both at ease straight away. I was surprised how he opened up and I was able to see things from his perspective for the first time. I know that he understands me more now and with Gayes help we are closer than ever"
Sian Jones "I didn’t think there was any hope for our relationship as all we did was argue and shout at each other. We booked to see Sian because she started online couples counselling so we thought she must be good.. She was so patient and understanding and always saw things from both points of view. We are now at a stage where we can at least communicate without getting angry. We are still working on our relationship but now feel at least there is light at the end of the tunnel"
We are an experienced team of professional relationship counsellors located throughout the UK. Online Couples Counselling will help you gain understanding of your partner’s perspective. This will enable you both to move forward in the direction you choose. We provide online counselling sessions so you can get help & support from the convenience & comfort of your own home.
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